The Road to Hell is Paved with Good Health Intentions

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The Road to Hell is Paved with Good Health Intentions

What CS Lewis Might Have to Say About Covid Policy

Stephanie B.

Jan 19, 2022

Here is a very rough transcript of the podcast, please note, it no doubt contains inaccuracies:

Hello, good morning, good evening, or whatever time it is where you are, this is Stephanie and here's my podcast for today, which happens to be January…is it actually January 19th, 2022? Can't believe that it's almost the end of January.

So I had a nightmare this morning. I had a COVID nightmare.

This is really not so great when you're having COVID nightmares, and some of you may know that I live with my elderly parents now. I moved in with them when I got stuck a couple years ago. I have been recovering. I am. No, I would say I'm a lot better, but then I have relapses and things and so it's kind of like an up and down process for me to for me to get back on my feet and they are at that age where they're vulnerable from COVID. They are in their mid-70s. They do have some underlying conditions. They have been double vaccinated and boosted.

I tried to talk them out of the booster. I tried to tell them. When they first got, they were among the first people that got vaccinated. They said maybe you want to wait a little bit. They did, of course didn't want to listen to me. They actually have friends of theirs who are pressuring them saying, why are you letting Stephanie stay in the house? She's unvaccinated. Well, I don't go anywhere out of respect for them and it's really not much for me to go out and do anyway. Right now with all the crazy lockdowns of people being paranoid and whatever so, I'm taking this time to better myself.

Personally, it's almost like I'm on an extended retreat. I am working on my blog and working on my business and taking Zoom classes and all that stuff. So I have a pretty full life despite of never going anywhere. And fortunately we live…we actually live off the Chesapeake so I have access to water. In the summer I was kayaking and swimming and actually doing stand up paddle board, so it's really not that bad. It could be a lot worse.

However, I had a nightmare that I had somehow gone out to some restaurant or bar and there were some people there and I was kind of feeling bad that I couldn't fully participate and then I started getting panicky that I was gonna catch the COVID and bring it back to my family. And that my family was going to be like super pissed off at me about it. So I was trying to leave because I felt like I, I felt vulnerable and I just I woke up and I was like..I can't believe that I am embodying this fear and it's just crazy.

So even though I write about this constantly and ultimately I'm not…I apparently still haven't had COVID, but I keep thinking I might have gotten it and then I'll get like an antibody test and I don't have any antibodies for it. So either I've got some T cells that have been fighting whatever it is off, or, God forbid, because I've been now exposed and living with people who've been double vaxxed and boosted, I actually have just spike protein antibodies, in which case I might be vulnerable in the way that the vaccinated are apparently more vulnerable to Omicron…

Because if you've been following some of the news, there's this data coming out from the UK that is showing that people who have been double vaxxed and boosted might actually be more prone to catching over spreading Omicron, they might even be more vulnerable to a more serious illness, even as as the time goes by now initially…Particularly yes, they like to blame it all on the unvaccinated. But if you look at quite a few of the stats often they'll lump in unvaccinated people with people who had a shot. And 14 days haven't gone by. So it's really hard to tell whether they're truly unvaccinated or they recently just gotten a shot.

So, all that said, some people are really concerned that we might be looking at original antigenic sin or antibody dependent enhancement. They're kind of related, but two different things, and I won't get into all that technical here 'cause I have more I wanna talk about, but that would be really bad and I want my family to be well, healthy, happy and whole, and I don't begrudge people who are particularly older people because they grew up at a time. The baby boomers. Even though a lot of them can use the Internet and they're on Facebook, they did not grow up with distributed news and technology. They grew up with television, so they…now, not all older people I know, older people who I know someone who is at that age range who believes that the vaccine killed his 90 something year old mother. So it's not all but, there's a tendency among that generation to trust what's on the television. And I don't blame them for that.

So also in the news, Hawaii is requiring a booster to go travel to Hawaii. Your other options are to getting a negative test within 24 hours of arriving or you have to be stuck in your hotel for five days. And of course, this makes no sense since we know that people who are vaccinated and boosted are probably more likely to catch and spread Omicron than the unvaccinated.

But that doesn't stop people, and now we're seeing people calling for the mandating flu shots. An opinion piece in the Baltimore Sun just came out saying, hey, why don't we mandate flu shots?

Well, see, people, here's the thing. You know there's a lot of, and I've said this in in one of my articles in actually the article that got me kicked off of Medium. If we just wanted cut down on the number of deaths, there's so many things that we could do to just cut down a number of deaths. But all those things would be inconveniencing people, and people have decided that the risk is worth it, so we could cut down on what 40,000 or more deaths of year of people in car accidents. If we lowered the speed limit and maybe we could make cars safer, why don't we have roll bars installed in all automobiles that would, that would certainly cut down on deaths, but we don't do it.

So this idea that like we need to somehow prioritize vaccinating people against flu, which in a bad year might cause maybe 60,000 deaths. So maybe a little bit more than than automobile accidents. It just this isn't about saving lives per say. This is about people pushing their particular medical cult, medical religion on other people.

So I just find this very alarming and I just…when I started writing about this stuff and believe you me I didn't wanna get out into all this political stuff. I'm sick and tired of the politics. I'm sick and tired of the division I am sick and tired of of all the fighting and whatnot, particularly in America. And I was just gonna focus on sound healing, just talking about nice things like herbs and not getting into all of this controversy.

But when all of this stuff started coming down with this vaccine and it's I was like I have to speak up because this is, you know, if we don't stop this, we are in some serious trouble because it's gonna extend beyond the COVID vaccine mandates and now look now they're trying to push for flu vaccine mandates. And then what else are they gonna mandate so? They're gonna mandate psychiatric drugs because some of us don't buy into their narrative. I will bet you money. So people are gonna start calling for that. And then we're looking at that movie Equilibrium with Christian Bale, which I keep needing to re-watch. That was a good movie. So here I am and I gotta talk about all this crap.

So the other thing I wanted to talk about today was this whole thing of like. I've had kind of a theme lately in what I've been writing about in terms of trying to reach people, and then people kind of just there's this divide between people who are awake to the dangers of the path we’re on, and people who don't see it. And then the people who are you know, particularly, very hostile to those of us who do see it, and I can get a little. I have to try to maintain my positive…I don't have positive angle, let's just be honest. I have not that much of a positive person, particularly right now. I'm not a positive person, so so for whatever the reason that story of that judge in Hamtramck, MI, I believe her name is Alexis Krot.

So Alexis Krot was the judge who yelled at that 72 year old man. Because he didn't, you know, clean up this scruffy brush in the alleyway, the alleyway behind his house. Now there's a there's an old garage there and there was a couple of bushes, and to me I spent almost 20 years in Los Angeles. I looked at that. I looked at that picture and I was like that's pretty much all of Los Angeles, right? Like, unless you're in Beverly Hills, that's like kind of like. That's actually nice compared to what I used to live around when I was in LA so so so this snobby snobby woman was just, you know, acting like this was like the worst thing he could have possibly done, and berating him and saying shame on you and and this disturbed me so deeply. And now there's all sorts of horrors that go on. And of course, there's that story.

Speaking of Los Angeles…that young college student who was working at the luxury furniture store in Los Angeles and then she was murdered by a guy randomly walked in, or they think he randomly walked in. They’re saying it was a random thing, but probably for all we know he's a serial killer and he targets young college age women and he just decides to go and do it in the daylight. Now I don't know so they're kind of making assumptions that this was just kind of random, and any rate that is very horrifying, but somehow that horrifies me less than this Alexis Krot woman and I'm trying to figure out exactly why why that is.

Now, I just also wanna note that that area La Brea where that quote luxury furniture store is. I remember that row I used to, I haven't been back to LA since I left. It's like I got out of there and I never look back. I haven't been there since 2010, but that area of La Brea. It's not very nice. It's weird. It's kind of like everything in that part of the whole Hollywood area and La Brea and that kind of central basin is just kind of shabby and worn down. And then you'll have these jobs and you go in and there's all this high end luxury furniture so it's not necessarily the nicest area but. But the shops in themselves, they definitely have this kind of…that's been known as a trendy furniture here for a long time.

Anyway, so why? Why does Alexis Krot bother me more than you know, some jerk who went and killed. It all bothers me because, because to me, it's like Alexis Krot is someone who's been put into a position of power. And I can I. I thought in some ways I feel bad talking about her, 'cause what if she's actually she's just having a bad day and maybe she's nicer than I realized. So so my apologies, I'm…That's me being a nice person.

She acted like a sociopath. And it's very possible that she is a full blown sociopath and there are studies that show that maybe one in 25 people are sociopaths, and I'd like to think that certain people are actually capable of reform. That's kind of in my heart. I want everybody to go to heaven. I want everybody to be safe, but apparently there's one in 25 people who, for whatever the reason. They don't have compassion, they don't love, they're just cold, ice blooded, cold people. So the guy who went and killed the girl in LA on La Brea. He's probably also sociopath who just happens to not have the fetters of society around him, and so he's just going off and doing that whatever the hell he wants because he's outside of society.

He's…they're saying that he's homeless. He's been in all these different states and he's had these arrest warrants and they just they never fully prosecuted him. And that's the other thing I did want to comment on here. The victim’s father was really pissed off and said, you know if he'd been properly put in jail, this would happen, which is probably true, but there's this tendency now to say, well, you know he came from a from a poor background and he's disadvantaged and blah blah blah blah blah so, so I'm sorry. That can explain theft, robbery and stealing. That does not explain just going and murdering some. Beautiful young woman. Being poor and disadvantaged does not make you a murderer.

OK being poor to manage it might make you desperate, might make you steal and I have compassion for that, but it doesn't make you go and kill people, so there's something else in that person that made him a murderer. And so I'm going to tie this back in with that judge. That judge is in society. She's been. Given a post, she has the approval of society, so I'm not saying she's a murderer, but I'm saying that she might have similar tendencies to that that man who killed the young woman, but because she's been given this position of power and she has all of the luxury and whatnot. So I guess I'm, I guess in some way I'm saying that like if you aren't in society, you're just more able to just go and. Do your impulses, but but anyway she she. She has this same temperament as that man in a way they're not that different, but she has now gotten this position where she can Lord over others and that makes her very, very dangerous.

Is she someone that can be saved and can she repent? I don't mean this in a Christian way, but is she someone that can become kinder and nicer and this is really the question that I have.

The question is why am I writing what I'm writing? Am I able to sway anybody's minds and hearts? Do people actually change? I know some of them do. I know I have. But then there's a certain segment where they just don't change. It's like they you can't get through to them. They they have something broken inside of them where they're just unable to see, and they don't wanna see and no matter how hard you try, they just can't. They don't get it. And they think that they are the good ones.

So this reminds me of this book by CS Lewis. It's called the Great Divorce and CS Lewis was a Christian apologist, so he definitely comes from that background. But he's…he's very, very intellectual and creative. And he also wrote the Chronicles of Narnia, so I think he's probably the best Christian writer that, at least in modern times and I really enjoy. I love the chronicles. I grew up with that and I also enjoy a lot of his essays and his his books. So the Great Divorce is about hell. And the people that he describes as being in hell are people like Judge Alexis Kraut. They're normal people for the most part, that he doesn't talk a lot about mass murderers or whatnot. He mentions Ghengis Khan in Napoleon and … what not being in hell, but most of the examples he gives of people being in hell are basically normal people who are so wrapped up in themselves and so narcissistic that they they have basically separated themselves from everybody else.

So I just wanted to read a little excerpt about his idea of how and I'll then comment on it a little bit more. So he says about hell. He talks about there. Originally in his introduction, he talks about this idea that some people believe that like you can have heaven and hell together and he thinks they have to be separated. This idea of the great divorce is between heaven and hell and that you have to choose two roads. And as you go down the two roads the good road and the bad road, they diverge more and more the longer you go. OK so he writes:

I do not think that all who choose wrong roads perish; but their rescue consists in being put back on the right road. [8]A wrong sum can be put right: but only by going back till you find the error and working it afresh from that point, never by simply going on. Evil can be undone, but it cannot ‘develop’ into good. Time does not heal it. The spell must be unwound, bit by bit, ‘with backward mutters of dissevering power’—or else not. It is still ‘either-or’. If we insist on keeping Hell (or even earth) we shall not see Heaven: if we accept Heaven we shall not be able to retain even the smallest and most intimate souvenirs of Hell. I believe, to be sure, that any man who reaches Heaven will find that what he abandoned (even in plucking out his right eye) has not been lost: that the kernel of what he was really seeking even in his most depraved wishes will be there, beyond expectation, waiting for him in ‘the High Countries’. In that sense it will be true for those who have completed the journey (and for no others) to say that good is everything and Heaven everywhere. But we, at this end of the road, must not try to anticipate that retrospective vision. If we do, we are likely to embrace the false and disastrous converse and fancy that everything is good and everywhere is Heaven.
But what, you ask, of earth? Earth, I think, will not be found by anyone to be in the end a very distinct place. I think earth, if chosen instead of Heaven, will turn out to have been, all along, only a region in Hell: and earth, if put second to Heaven, to have been from the beginning a part of Heaven itself.

OK, so. That's a lot to parse, and I've probably will need to talk more about this and future articles and podcasts, but there's a lot of things that kind of float through my brain, and as I look at this and one of them is this concept of time not healing evil, and it must be undone but doesn't develop into good in time and must be unwound bit by bit. So that that we have to be put on the right path and sometimes you need to go back a little bit and then move forward and it just makes me think that you know the problem that we're having right now with all of this COVID tyranny is that we're now on this path and as we move forward on the path, it gets harder and harder and harder to get back onto the right path.

And as you can see, we already know how people say now we need flu shot mandates. We have to really think in some ways bigger. What got us at this point that we are already here. We could start with COVID, but the at the time at which the roads diverged was way before COVID even happened way before that. Years and years of problems with how medicine has been done in the whole way, the medical establishment was established the whole way that. Big Pharma took prominence. There's things that need to be unraveled way before this, so I'm not gonna get into all that because this would take hours and hours and hours.

But I wanted to share another aspect of the book so the other thing in the book and it's also just struck me. I have. I haven't re-read the whole thing yet. I read this whole book, I don't know, maybe seven years ago or something and I am just starting to re-read it, but he presents hell as a place where everybody is basically social, distanced to the extreme, but I didn't think of it that way when I first read the book because we didn't have COVID. But now that I'm reading it, I'm like, Oh my God, this is. It's a weird metaphor for COVID policy.

Everybody who goes to hell, they live in this twilight town and you can basically do what you want there. He doesn't talk about demons or Hellfire, but basically everybody is isolated. And as they, they're longer and longer, they get more and more irritated by their neighbors, and so they go and they move out farther and farther and farther away from each other, so that the oldest inhabitants are living millions and millions and millions of miles away from other people. And they'll have they live in these self built houses that they create with their thoughts. So their imaginary houses that they make with their minds. And and so I'm gonna just read a little bit of dialogue that the this is not CS Lewis saying that he's there's a character in this book has been in hell, and he's on a bus going somewhere else and trying to figure out what's going on. OK, so? He's having a conversation with another man on the bus about people feeling a sense of safety in their houses, so the narrator asks:

‘Safety from what?’, I began, but my companion nudged me to be silent. I changed my question.
‘But look here’, said I, ‘if they can get everything just by imagining it, why would they want any real things, as you call them?’
‘Eh? Oh well, they’d like houses that really kept out the rain.’
‘Their present houses, don’t?’
‘Well of course not. How could they?’
‘What the devil is the use of building them, then?’ The Intelligent Man put his head closer to mine. ‘Safety again,’ he muttered. ‘At least, the feeling of safety. It’s all right now: but later on . . . you understand.’
‘What?’ said I, almost involuntarily sinking my own voice to a whisper.
He articulated noiselessly as if expecting that I understood lip-reading. I put my ear close to his mouth. ‘Speak up,’ I said. ‘It will be dark presently,’ he mouthed.
‘You mean the evening is really going to turn into a night in the end?’
He nodded.

So, where they are in their imaginary houses that they put up so they could keep out the rain, but they don't actually keep out the rain for this idea of safety that they are going to have from anyway, I hope you're gonna get the metaphor here so. Everybody in this book that is in hell that this man talks to is basically kind of either a narcissist or, and I apologize to the Karens out there, and I think we need a new term there. Karen or a busy body and they all have this kind of self-righteousness, like why why here I don't deserve to be here.

So some people might be offended because they might read this…and be like, well, boy, CS Lewis is a real asshole. He’s basically sending people to hell is just for being, you know, minor jerks, but that's really not the point. The point of this whole book is that hell is the state of mind and he makes a distinction. He clearly says that heaven is not a state of mind. Heaven is reality. But that hell is a state of mind and that people put themselves into hell through their own mindset. And that mindset is usually because they are so wrapped up in themselves that they can't see anything else or any other perspective.

So to me that speaks a lot to what we're dealing with here with this kind of self made hell of the COVID world, because we have people who are very self-righteous, they are so wrapped up in their own perspective. They think that they're the ones being kind and compassionate, and yet at the same time they're calling for unvaccinated people we put into camps or to lose their jobs or to not get any medical care. Basically, die of COVID. These are the supposedly kind, compassionate people and really it is a type of narcissism where they're getting an ego boost from feeling their superior. Look at me, I got my jabs. They they're also buying into fear. So they're…

I mean, I'm afraid…I don't want my parents to get COVID, I'm afraid they might die from it because they are in a that percentage. In their age range they are at high risk. I'm not one of those people who thinks it's not real, but I try not to let that fear drive me right. So that's the difference.

They let that fear drive them and…I'm making generalizations. Not everybody is like this, but I'm just saying the worst case ones, they can't hear anything else because they have wrapped themselves up in their own little bubble. Possibly, I'm just theorizing here. I would love to hear your thoughts and comments.

There was also an interesting comment on my Substack yesterday and that person said that she thinks that a lot of people are so missing real friction in their lives, real challenge and friction because our lives can be kind of boring. You know, if you're living in the suburbs and you're going to the same. Probably a it's just kind of like a blah kinda. It is kind of like a little bit of a hell maybe, and so she thinks that we people are just reading things into stuff that isn't there so that they can have that thrill of being offended and lashing out. And all this other stuff. I thought this was really, really interesting and I definitely wanna explore that idea. More of this kind of type of like manufactured drama.

I have to be careful myself because I can get a little feisty and I grew up well. I don't wanna get it all that, but let's just say that alcoholism runs in my family and when you grow with that then you kind of get used to drama and friction and so when you don't have it around you can unconsciously try to manufacture it, and/or you just get reactive, so I have to be careful that I don't get reactive.

I'm certainly a lot calmer than it was when I was younger, but you know, people would be surprised me, like Stephanie said, laid back and so nice. And then when they offended me in some way, I'd get super super pissed. They get all shocked and act like I was the most like…I hear you get so mad you didn't get mad before like…I am human like you're mad at me now like how is that any different?

But anyway, I did end up like having some falling outs with people because I would get mad and I would like actually what I would do is I would write them a very nasty email. Very long, lengthy nasty email. And as you can see I'm a very prolific writer so when I take somebody to task in email, it's very, very epic and and not nice, and I apologize if you were one of the people who has gotten on the on the back end of one of my nasty long emails. Every once in awhile I will still do that to be really careful with myself. Write it and then throw it away. Anyway, that's an aside.

So heaven and hell and and relating to this, I believe there's a lot of fear of death going up around. We can't stop everybody from dying of the flu. And honestly God, we shouldn't. And you're like how dare you say that you're not you're not compassionate. Are we thinking that we're all gonna live forever here on this planet? I mean, what is the…what is the ultimate goal to stop all sickness and death?

I'm a healer or I like to try to be a healer or healing practitioner or healing facilitator. I don't like to see people sick. I hate sickness. I hate being sick. I sickness is my enemy. If I had my way, everybody would die of a natural cause. But what is that so? Eventually you're gonna have to die of a heart attack or you gonna die of something. So if there's an older person I'm not talking (young?) person, but if there's an older person who gets the flu and they're 86 years old and they've lived a good life. Maybe that's the way they go out, and maybe that's actually kinder for them and letting them get cancer, which is horrible. You know?

I mean, so this is another problem that we have. At the same time these same people are like climate change is gonna destroy the planet well. Why are you trying so hard to make sure that nobody dies? If you think that that's the case? I don't get it, so we have to kind of come to terms with the fact that we're all gonna die now.

Yes, there are these people who are the transhumanists, are apparently trying to put our consciousness into computers so they don't die. I don't really want that. Personally, I am not looking forward to dying. Dying scares me. But I am a spiritual person. I don't know if I believe in reincarnation or not, but. I have actually done reincarnation. We call it…past life regressions. Add done workshops and I would tell people look, this might not be literal, might be figurative. It might be your imagination, but it will tell something about yourself. Pretty much everybody in the workshops would have memories of past lives, and everybody was every other gender and race. So this idea that you're just like one race that it's no every… I've apparently if if my past lights are true, I've been they all female, black, Asian Indian. I mean India from India. I've been like all sorts of different people. I'm still not sure if I have 100% believe it, but we've all been everything.

And a lot of…every single major religion basically says we were in paradise and then we messed up and we got sent down here and we are not in paradise anymore so. What does that tell you? That kind of tells you that if you're not in paradise, you are kind of in a version of hell. So what is what is the purpose of all religion? To get back to paradise, we have different ways of doing it. Sometimes you go through Jesus, sometimes you do it through a lot of meditation, yoga. So you achieve enlightenment or you get rid of your desires as in Buddhism? Or in Sufism you surrender yourself to God and you clean yourself up, the ego so that you can be completely clear and allow that light in. It's all about clearing ourselves and getting back to heaven, which is what he was talking about in the Great Divorce.

So I know people who've had near death experiences and one person I know she she was floating above herself when she was in the hospital and then they pulled her back and she got mad at her mom… Mom, why did you bring me back? She didn't feel any pain which she was out of her body. She felt better and she felt happier and let her so we're fighting so freaking hard to stay here. In hell or purgatory it's…

I'm not saying we should go and off ourselves because we're not supposed to do that. We're here to, you know, to clear ourselves so that we can go back to the source. But I mean, come on, we're not gonna be here forever, and I think a lot of people have not dealt with that, and that is what is driving a lot of this COVID, and so ultimately the solution to all this. It's probably spiritual. I gotta go. I hope you enjoyed this long and rambly podcast, and I would love to hear your comments. Thank you so much. Bye bye.

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